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francis light heard that in the malay sultanate empire, there’s a beautiful island which is not occupied yet, so he and his crew boarded the ship and headed toward the empire. it was night time when they almost reached penang, but thay couldn’t see the island. ‘where’s it, the island?’,said francis light. ‘no idea’, says one of the crew. KABOOMMM!!!they hit something real hard. is it an iceberg? oh no, we’re gonna die! francis light found out that the ship pilot, Carl, was drunk with some drink from a glass bottle. so they named the intoxicating drink after the pilot and the supposed iceberg, Carl’sberg thay named the drink. they decided to market the drinks to the locals so they can win the war fatster and take over the island. actually, it wasn’t the iceberg, it was penang, batu feringgi. their ship is still there, in fact, it has turned into some high class restaurant. francis light realized the accident happened bcoz there was no lighthouse, so he built one at teluk bahang, still there today. so francis light had some light snacks with his light skin crew and light some cigarette to smoke, and drank coke light. so francis light honored his surname.

when the kedah sultan found out that francis light didn’t help him in the civil war, he planned an attack on penang. at night time, the sultan warrior rowed their latest technology sampan to penang. francis light found out, and he switch off the lighthouse. so the sultan warriors rowed passed penang and rowed till morning to sumatera, and attacked sumatera. they were wondering why the mat sallehs can turn into locals so fast. superb evolution. so the kedah sultan shouted at francis light from seberang, and said,’ not fair, u guys got cannon and firepower, bullets, we only have our crooked swords(u’ll know why in the next episode of lame jokes) and tombak, give us some of yours’. so francis light said ‘ok, i send u half of my bullets and cannonballs, but if i send by sampan, they’ll end up in sumatera, like what happened to your warriors.’ so francis light thought for a while, and he said,’ i know 1 way to send u those stuff within seconds, faster than FEDEX or DHL, hang on and catch!’. so francis light loaded his rifles and loaded the cannon and shot those standing yonder at seberang. very efficient and time saving delivery of goods. then francis light wondered,’they’re so grateful to me for my generosity, is that why they jump and lie down and never get up?’

(fiction)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 18th, 2006 at 1:46 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.