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lately i went with josh to a beach in penang to camp overnight….everything was blissful until it hits midnight. after the superb divine-provision barbecue dinner where the charcoals, fireplace, chicken wire were miraculously provided, it started to rain a little. little did we know of the gruelsome pathetic unplanned undesired terror which awaits us that night.

we ran out of candles and matches, which were the two vital weapons of mass destruction against our adversary. i only brought 3 candles and josh only brought 1 box of matches….our preparation for this camp surpasses logical understanding. i was about to sleep when i heard the sound of the adversary. we tried to light some fire but the only options we had was the caveman technique of rolling the stick or hitting two rocks together. we realised that our grandchildren would have grown up and laughing at us by the time we got the fire started, so we refuse utterly to apply those high-tech techniques. josh asked me why i took out my mp3 player, and i told him that it was more of a blessing to listen to mp3 songs than to listen to mosquito FM. ironically at some place especially the exotic beach we went to, u just can’t tune in to Hitz FM or other FMs. no matter what u tune to, it’s Mosquito FM. i said ‘exotic’ beach because some stuffs were not of local origin. joshua wrapped himself like a mummy and yet, he was still attacked by those nonsense motherless unorthodox creatures. i told joshua that it is the ancient legend of the mosquitoes that since young, they were trained not to give up.

if u noticed, there are white and black stripes on the mosquitoes’ body. that’s because they wear Adidas, and their moto "impossible is nothing". thank God, we took some ember from the fireplace to start a little fire and the smokes drove those creatures away. it seems like the Mosquitoes are aware of the "Tak Nak" campaign and since most mosquitoes do not live over 18 years, they are not allowed to smoke. the fire lasted for about an hour, and adversity continues for us. i and joshua had to sit up on the bench and keep moving our hands and feet like MC Hammer from 5am to 7am. both of us did the MC hammer "dance" at the beach like stupid idiots performing for the turtles and fishes to watch for 2 miserable hours.

we forfeited our breakfast to escape hell. i figured out the next time we come to this "beach", if we ever come back, i will bring along a flame-thrower to create some smoke or bring the representative lawyer of Adidas to sue the Mosquitoes for using their copyright trademark without permission; or maybe we can borrow the BSG(Big Smoking Gun) from the Kementerian Kesihatan to saturate the place before we start camping and some Tak Nak poster warning the Mosquitoes that it’s illegal for them to smoke. Soon, i might file a lawsuit against the Mosquitoes for their launching of blood donation drive on us without our consent, thus violating our privacy and freedom from harm under Article 3(11) of the Federal Constitution. I will also inform the government of their tax evasion because for centuries, the Mosquitoes have not been paying the customs duty for blood export and blood income tax to the Federal Government.

The beach which i talked about is Muka Head. maybe after my second visit there with a flame-thrower and some phosphorus grenades, the name will be changed to Botak Head. So if u’re thinking for a place of vacation or a personal perseverance or micro-tactical training, Muka Head is the place to go…it’s the place of baptism under adversity. Have fun there, or get stunned there.

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